Ask Dr. Eldritch

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Your First Choice in Last Resort Options!

Relationship troubles? Annoying relatives? Problems at work?
Take them to an ordinary advice columnist!
For the really tough situations, ASK DR. ELDRITCH!

Dr. Eldritch answers the questions that no other columnist will touch, with solid,
no-nonsense advice to get you through those once-in-a-lifetime crises:
  • Being menaced by the Undead?
  • Scientific experiments gone horribly wrong and may destroy the Earth?
  • A Loved One is possessed by Satan?
  • Your gorgeous lover is using you as a patsy for an elaborate swindle?
Don't fall victim to vampires! Don't get slashed by a psycho!

Don't get stuck,ASK DR. ELDRITCH!

May 13, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My destiny is to be the focal point of a great magical struggle, but I don't wish to do it any more!

May 6, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I write to you from a farmhouse attic, hiding from the walking dead...

Apr 29, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, You recently mentioned mind-control chips in digital audio players, and I must say you're wrong about that...

Apr 22, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I accidentally sold myself into slavery! Please help me get out of this contract!

Apr 15, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, A sailor told me right before he died that you might be able to help me get a new job...

Apr 8, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I hope this reaches you, as I'm writing from another dimension...

Apr 1, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I fear my race is on the brink of a slave revolt, and we need your help to prevent it!

Mar 25, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I accidentally got involved in a secret society, and we’re going to do something horrible...

Mar 18, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I'm in the sixth grade, and I haven't had a magical adventure yet! What's wrong with me?

Mar 11, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I've been frightening sleeping children for centuries, but it's no fun anymore...

Mar 4, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I'm writing not to ask for advice, but to offer my services. I communicate with dead people!

Feb 26, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My coworkers want to sacrifice me to a volcano because I’m a virgin! What can I do?

Feb 19, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, Dangnabbit! What is wrong with superheroes these days?

Feb 12, 2008

VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL - New Relationship Quiz!

Feb 5, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I’ve just started dating again, after a painful breakup over a year ago...

Jan 29, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I am Ranthacor, Prince-Consort of Empress Azamratha of Mezzrachrite and Uniter of the Five Golden Cities...

Dec 12, 2007

Dr. Eldritch, I'm writing from the SMC, the Secret Mars Colony, and I think something strange is going on...

Nov 13, 2007

Dr. Eldritch, Crop circles are showin' up in my fields! Are we in danger?

Nov 6, 2007

Dr. Eldritch, Dozens of clowns are showing up in my subway station! What should I do?

Oct 30, 2007

Dr. Eldritch, I wander about on Halloween, handing out dental hygiene products, but I have no memories of anything else!

Sorry, letters prior to this date are no longer on the Web! Letters you missed about fending off the Undead, mysterious doubles, alternate dimensions and much more, will be published as a book of letters to Dr. Eldritch.
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Last Revised: May 13, 2008 © 2003-2008 Evan M. Nichols