Ask Dr. Eldritch

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Your First Choice in Last Resort Options!

Relationship troubles? Annoying relatives? Problems at work?
Take them to an ordinary advice columnist!
For the really tough situations, ASK DR. ELDRITCH!

Dr. Eldritch answers the questions that no other columnist will touch, with solid,
no-nonsense advice to get you through those once-in-a-lifetime crises:
  • Being menaced by the Undead?
  • Scientific experiments gone horribly wrong and may destroy the Earth?
  • A Loved One is possessed by Satan?
  • Your gorgeous lover is using you as a patsy for an elaborate swindle?
Don't fall victim to vampires! Don't get slashed by a psycho!

Don't get stuck,ASK DR. ELDRITCH!

October 28, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, How can we explain to someone who's come back from the dead that it was just a mistake and we didn't mean any harm?

October 14, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I am a programmer for a large security company. My new girlfriend is really hot...

October 7, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, Some friends and I found this ancient book of really ornate pictures hidden in an old, abandoned plantation house way out in a swamp...

October 7, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, Some friends and I found this ancient book of really ornate pictures hidden in an old, abandoned plantation house way out in a swamp...

September 23, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I have a plan to prove I am the world’s greatest Evil Fencing Master: A Tournament to the Death!

September 16, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My best chum gets all the attention from all the other wizards, and I'm bloody tired of it!

September 9, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I've fallen in love with someone who doesn't even know I exist. Please help me make her love me too!

September 2, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I need to get rid of a ghost, without letting anyone know that he's been haunting me!

August 26, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I'm a talking car, and I swear by all that is holy, I'm going to drive off a cliff!

August 19, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I want to study whether vampires are subject to evolutionary pressure, but I need your help!

August 5, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I'm you. Or actually, you're this dimension's version of ME!

July 29, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, A small, nasty creature like an armadillo with tentacles is scrabbling about in a cage in my study...

July 22, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My boyfriend wants us to become vampires, so we can be together. Would this work?

July 15, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, An arcane secret society may be out to get me because I’m aware of them, but I can hardly believe they exist!

July 8, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I've had the weirdest thing happen to me, and I hope you can help figure out what's going on...

July 1, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, Do you want to be part of the NEXT BIG THING?

June 24, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My uncle's invention shrank me down to 2" tall, and I don't know how to get back to normal! I must have your help!

June 17, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, These frat guys dared me and a bunch of my friends to, like, spend a night in this abandoned sorority house...

June 10, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I recently received my doctorate in physics, and am working in a top-secret research facility...

June 3, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, Is there such thing as a dark ghost? I think one just grabbed me in my sleep...

May 20, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My genius little brother might destroy the world...

May 13, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, My destiny is to be the focal point of a great magical struggle, but I don't wish to do it any more!

May 6, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I write to you from a farmhouse attic, hiding from the walking dead...

Apr 29, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, You recently mentioned mind-control chips in digital audio players, and I must say you're wrong about that...

Apr 22, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I accidentally sold myself into slavery! Please help me get out of this contract!

Apr 15, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, A sailor told me right before he died that you might be able to help me get a new job...

Apr 8, 2008

Dr. Eldritch, I hope this reaches you, as I'm writing from another dimension...

Sorry, letters prior to this date are no longer on the Web! Letters you missed about fending off the Undead, mysterious doubles, alternate dimensions and much more, will be published as a book of letters to Dr. Eldritch.
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Last Revised: October 29, 2008 © 2003-2008 Evan M. Nichols