Dear Dr. Eldritch,
    After yet another fight with my wife "Kate" (not her real name, of course), I ended up at a bar I'd never been to before. An incredibly attractive woman sits next to me and introduces herself as "Jane." We got to talking, and she tells me she's been thinking of leaving her husband. I let it slip that Kate's wealthy family had insisted on a pre-nup which would leave me with nothing if I filed for divorce. Jane starts hinting that we could each "solve each other's problem." That made me real nervous, so I left.

Today I found a napkin tucked in my coat pocket with "Jane" and a phone number written on it. Don't worry; I've been reading your column for a while, and I know your advice about slippery slopes and all. But I still wonder. Maybe she was serious about a deal, or I might eliminate her husband and she'd refuse to carry through on her part. She could have been an undercover cop on a sting operation. For all I know, she was merely suggesting we get a hotel room for a few hours of fun!

I stashed the napkin somewhere safe, and before I do anything, I had to ask you: For every situation that could be either harmless or disastrous, how do you know which it is?

-- Smarter Than The Average Bear

Dear Smarter,
    I'll grant you a level of intelligence greater than the typical ursine; when bears write to me, their spelling and grammar are terrible. But you're not be as clever as you think, since you still have the napkin! If I had a dollar for every "safe" place that's been compromised, I could hire the bears a full-time proofreader. If you were really smart, you could memorize Jane's phone number.

Despite that, you do ask an excellent question! How, indeed? Always assuming the worst and jumping at every shadow makes one look as foolish as the woman who reported this Suspicious Activity at an American airport: A man talking on a cell phone in a foreign language! Such paranoia leads to a life spent cowering in the basement.

On the flip side, people who trust Humanity's Inherent Goodness ensure that Con Artists, Psychopaths and Spammers have an inexhaustible supply of victims. So the ideal lies somewhere between those two extremes.

I could teach an entire course on this topic, but the condensed version boils down to these three points:

1. Inform yourself about the myriad dangers that may be encountered in life. Reading this column is an excellent means to that end.

2. Be alert for danger signs. For example, a stranger striking up a conversation in a bar is suspicious, but when it's an "incredibly attractive" woman, she definitely has an ulterior motive.

3. Trust your intuition when something seems wrong. You don't often hear phrases like "I had a bad feeling about it, but I got into the cage anyway" because those who might say such things are frequently no longer around.

Unless you're psychic, you can't ever know for certain what's about to happen. Being alert to the potential hazards, and ready to respond appropriately, increases your chances of identifying dangerous situations and overcoming them. So, Be Prepared, and be wary! You never know which day will be the Worst Day of Your Life...

Good luck, and let me know how it comes out!

-- Dr. Eldritch