Dear Dr. Eldritch,
   I think my Muse is seeing other writers. Please, I need your help!

You've probably seen my work. I'm an up-and-coming writer/cartoonist, known for a particular quirky sense of humor with a dark edge to it. The critics call me an overnight success, but my current popularity has been a long time coming. I struggled for years, writing mediocre magazine articles and several novels that will probably never see publication. Then my Muse found me.

I've never actually seen her, but I know when she's there. I call her "Michelle" (not her real name.) When she first arrived, I immediately got an idea for a great single-panel cartoon, which sold to a major New York magazine. After that, she was with me almost all the time. I'd write for hours and hours, and the ideas would just pour out like sweet wine from a bottomless amphora! I've never been so happy!

Then I started noticing... little things. Like magazine cartoons by other writers, that were exactly the kind of thing I'd think of. Or someone would publish a humor column about an idea I'd had, but hadn't written up yet. At first I just thought it coincidence. But then the real problems started.

I'd devoted an entire day to writing. I turned off my phone, TV, and Internet connection. I sat down with a blank sketchbook and a big mug of coffee... and nothing. I stared at the page for hours without a single creative thought.

Of course, a few days later when I'm out at a pub with my buddies, I suddenly get a swarm of ideas. Tons of them. I got really angry, and refused to write any of them down. They were brilliant, too, as if Michelle was feeling guilty for not being there for me before. I was too upset to care, though, at the time.

Since then, our relationship has been... strained. She still inspires material for me, but it's just not as exciting anymore. As if her mind isn't really on it. I feel guilty about shutting her out that night, but I think she should apologize first. I confided all this to one friend (after swearing him to secrecy), and he thinks she's "like totally doing it for other dudes."

I'm hoping that she and I can get past this, but I'm terrified of losing her. Could you follow her for a few days, and let me know if she is inspiring other artists? It would rip my heart out, but I have to know.

-- (Please Don't Use My Real Name! No One Must Know!)

Dear No One Must Know,
   Sure, I could tail her, but in my experience, that almost always ends badly. Having someone followed is like hanging out a huge, flashing sign that reads "I DON'T TRUST YOU ANY MORE!" The followee will eventually learn of it, and it's not like you can say "Oh, I just didn't know what to get you for your birthday, so I had you investigated. Surprise!" Two wrongs don't make a right (it actually takes about seven, and they can't be just any wrongs, so it's best not to go that route). You should focus on her relationship with you, not her connection to anyone else.

To me, it just sounds like you're going through a normal phase in an Artist/Muse relationship. Did you believe it would be like a honeymoon forever? Ha! If you think human artists are temperamental, a Muse's volatile personality is cranked up to 11, (or for Surrealists, up to "Fish")! Creativity isn't something that settles down and gets comfy. It's got to be rocky and tumultuous, or it decays into mushy, uninspired blandness (you know those newspaper comics that have been doing the same jokes for decades? Like that).

This is undoubtedly hard to hear, but sometimes one artist can't meet all of a Muse's needs. You probably assumed that your relationship was exclusive, but did she ever say that? The wild, edgy side of her that you love will keep her from ever belonging only to you. That doesn't mean she cares for you any less, it's just how she is. You're going to have to deal with that.

What's important is that while your relationship is strained, it's not broken. I suggest some sessions with an Artist/Muse therapist. It's possible to work through these issues, and restore that intense passion you both crave. You may feel uncomfortable about therapy, but the resulting wild, make-up inspiration will be terrific!

Good luck, and let me know how it comes out!

-- Dr. Eldritch